This week I’ll be writing about Chapter 12 from the book, which was about communication climate. I had an idea what communication climate was about, and it refers to the social tone of a relationship. Basically it is about how in each relationship it has its own unique level of comfort and how each other is treated is based off of that comfort. I began to look at my relationships and see how the communication climate of my various relationships varied from the next. For example, my relationship with my twin the communication climate is warm and sunny (what most people would describe as perfect weather). With my relationship with my sister I can talk to her about anything, crack jokes, be content in each other’s presence and we are supportive of each other. Now compare that to the communication climate of one of my ex-boyfriends, it’s the opposite. Things didn’t end well between us so our communication climate is dark and unwelcoming. Communication between the two of us usually ends with resentment and bitterness. He’s not someone I like to interact with lol.

Here is a meme that represents the communication climate between my ex and I:

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So this week, there wasn’t exactly a journal topic to write about so I’m just going to recap how the past couple days have been for me. I found out I got accepted into the school I applied to transfer to, so that was the highlight of my week. That same day, it was my last day of work at my job on campus. The next day I moved out of my dorm completely. It was bittersweet; a lot has happened this year-good and bad- but overall it helped me grow more as an individual. As I was finished packing all my things, it felt cliché how I was just standing in my empty room and looking around my dorm and reminiscing my two semesters and what would be my final semester at FAU. After moving out, I had a long drive back to Naples and as I was driving all I could think about was how the theme of this year for me was change and moving/moving on. I’m not a person who is resistant to change, but it seems that the changes that are happening in my life are preparing for seeing people I might not ever see again.

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This weeks journal is about Chapter 10 from the class book, which is about communication in close relationships. What really stuck out to me in this chapter was one particular anecdote. The book was referring to how there are dimensions to friendships obviously. There are some friendships in which they evolve over time or it’s purpose was to teach you a valuable lesson in life or you simply grow out of a phase in which said friendship was a part of. That stuck out to me particularly because in college I have encountered friendships in which I initially believed would be a long lasting friendship. Over time clearly I can to realize that, those friendships in which the relationship ended served its purpose for me. It made me become more self aware of who I spend my time with and who I surround myself around because not every friend has your best interests at heart. A quote that my parents would tell me growing up stuck with me as I was reading this chapter which is: people come in your life for a reason or a season, and only time will tell.

This is how I felt while reading this chapter:

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Chapter 9 focused on the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. I personally enjoyed reading this chapter because as I read, I tied in many factors of what establishes interpersonal relationships to obviously my own life. One thing that stuck with me concerning the dynamics of interpersonal relationships were appearance and similarities. Speaking from a view of platonic relationships, I often befriend people who obviously share the same interests as me. Funnily I was in a speed dating event on campus and just like the text said, I was more drawn to guys that shared the same interests as me. It was so much easier to be myself and the conversation just flowed so much more naturally. I do believe that physical looks do play a part in who you choose to build a relationship with, but as I gotten older I realized that looks aren’t everything. You can look physically attractive but if there’s no substance in your conversations/words then things won’t work. Now speaking from a romantic interpersonal relationship perspective, I actually did meet someone who I found physically attractive and to make things better, we had almost the same interests, likes and such. At times we would finish each other’s sentences; it felt like I met the male version of myself. It was interesting to say the least.

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So this week we had our midterm. I thought it was too easy, and I actually got a 92 on the midterm! I was pretty impressed considering that I’m not usually in class. But after midterms is Spring Break. For Spring Break, my exciting Spring Break plans are to go to work. I’m bursting with enthusiasm if you can’t tell. I’m overjoyed to be waking up out of my comfy, warm bed to be up and walking around 6 or 7 in the morning, instead of sleeping my mornings away peacefully. The only upside to this Spring Break, is that I get paid. Always see the light at the end of the rainbow. I’m going to see my mom at home in southwest Florida because her birthday falls within Spring Break. I also hope to dye my hair and get a nose piercing (I’ll look back to this post to see if I followed through). I’m doing that because I feel as if I need to change up my look. 20 years on this Earth and I gotten change up my look sometime soon, so why not now?

Here’s a picture that describes how I feel about Spring Break this year:

So this week in class, we were presenting our film analysis projects. My group and I picked the film”Avengers: Endgame” for our project and I felt that our group did ok. My group members did a good job of explaining their points and implementing scenes from the movie that supported their points about various forms of interpersonal communication. For my part of the project, I focused on listening vs. hearing. I picked the scene in which Captain America, Natasha, and Scott try and convince Tony to use the quantum realm to reverse Thanos’ affects but Tony was very reluctant of giving up the family he made in this alternate universe. I was pretty nervous presenting because one, presenting in front of a class makes me anxious and two because I was anxious I felt like I couldn’t articulate my points out eloquently. I felt as if I was stumbling over my words and that I wasn’t making much sense when attempting to explain how listening vs. hearing was at work during the clip I showed the class. Overall I was relieved when I was doing speaking and I feel like my group did a good job!

This is how I felt when presenting:

The lesson in class this week was centered about a 2 vital elements of interpersonal communication: listening and hearing. Most people consider the two concepts to be synonyms of each other but that is not the case. Hearing is involuntary and accidental while listening is focused and voluntary. A prime example of these concepts getting confused for one another is during an argument. It could be an argument with say a close friend or your partner and you two have opposing differences. I’m sure everyone had encountered conversations in which you are having a heated discussion/argument with someone and it seems as if the conversation is going nowhere. You can hear the words they are constructing out their mouths and you then formulate your own counter argument, but at the end of it all there could be no proper solution because you are not truly listening to that person’s words. It is easy for anyone who is of ability to hear; we hear conversations as we pass by others daily. But a major block in interpersonal communication that a vast majority of people encounter is not being able to listen and to most importantly understand where an individual is coming from when having conversations.

Here is a meme/picture that captures how I feel when someone is clearly not listening when I’m communicating with them:

My perception of myself is very different from how I believe the people I interact with daily perceive me. I perceive myself as shy, awkward and uncertain about myself. To others from what I have gotten is that I am endearing, charming, caring but also introverted. I feel as that I get those responses from others because I in a sense “put on” a persona/act at times to communicate and interact with others based on the nature of the relationship and the conversation. I feel as though I have a much more “negative” view of myself because as an individual it is extremely easy to pick apart your flaws and only view the negative aspects of yourself. Another aspect of perception and how we perceive others lies greatly in first impressions. I believe first impressions are both good and bad and I’ll explain on that further a bit. I say they are bad because you can meet someone and your first interaction/impression of them is great and later that person can show you how they truly are. And if you aren’t wise enough, that first impression can greatly cloud your judgment. I also believe first impressions are good because when someone shows you who they truly are, believe them.

Here is a meme that coincides with the paragraph I just wrote about:

In class this week we discussed various forms of “-isms”. A few examples of the isms discussed were: ableism, ageism,classism and how privilege is a a vital factor in not experiencing some forms of the “isms” discussed in class. How I took the lecture in class was greatly impacted by the exercise we did at the end of the class on Tuesday. The exercise we did was tallying up the different ways of privilege and how it impacts our position in life. I’m sure some people had more than 5 tally marks, for me by the end of the exercise I only had 2 tally marks. I honestly wasn’t surprised by my results because of how identify myself in this world. Being a lower middle class/middle class heterosexual black woman in today’s society who’s parents are immigrants, there were a lot of instances where the “odds are stacked against me”. I can certainly acknowledge that in that same breath I still am a privileged individual.

Here is a meme of how the discussion in class made me feel at some points: